OK, let
‘s admit it. Gefilte fish is pretty weird. It mostly shows up at Passover, hangs around for a few days, and then we don’t see it again for another year. As far as I can tell, it’s only true function is as a vehicle for Maror (horseradish.) Now don’t get me wrong… I’m a fan, but sometimes, like when we’re not celebrating Passover with the mishpucha, but instead rockin’ a vegan anarcha-queer Seder of our own, we need to change it up a little. Or a lot.
So this happened last year: Gefilte-fu. It’s vegan. It’s yummy. It’s weird. Heck, it might even be kosher for Passover. Regardless, we made a brucha over it and thanked the Universe for the friends, familia, and fortitude to make it through a long and lovely evening of eating, telling the Passover story, and fermenting all sorts of revolutions for the year to come.
Don’t think of it as breaking traditions… instead it’s about making our own. L’shana Tovah.
(this makes a lot, by the way)
Hardware:
1 big pot
1 small saucepan
Slotted Spoon
Strainer
Food processor
Zombie Brain Mold (or a ring mold, or cupcake tins with liners, or something similar)
Ingredients:
3 lbs. Firm water-packed tofu
3 carrots, chopped into 2″ pieces
1 small onion, sliced into 1″ rings (think big-ish)
about 1/2 C. EACH:
Kombu Seaweed
Wakame Seaweed
Nori Seaweed
6-ish sheets of matzo, broken down
1/4 C agar agar
Water… 1 C. for the agar, and 6qts for the Fu.
1 tbsp. olive oil.
The making of the Fu is easy peasy, mostly.
Drain and cut the tofu into 1″ cubes. Put that in the big pot with the lots of water, the seaweed, carrots, and onion. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 45 minutes or so. While this action is going on, take the oil and lightly grease the mold.
Strain the solids from the liquid, and then separate the tofu out. Do the best that you can. Set the carrots and onions aside, and ditch 98% of the seaweed. Save some wakame if you can. Maybe a tablespoon or two.
In the food processer goes the tofu and matzo. Throw a little of the cooked onion in, too. Maybe a pinch or 3 of the wakame. Grind the shit out of it until it’s chunky. Not too wet, not too dry. Malleable.
Pause.
Now prepare the agar agar in the small saucepan according to directions. No, seriously, read the directions on the package!
When the agar is done cooking but before it sets up pour half of it into the gefilte-fu and the other half into the mold. Swish it around the mold, pulse it into the Fu.
Put the Gefilte-Fu into the brain mold, cover it with plastic wrap, and stick it in the fridge for at least 4 hours.
Plate it nicely with the cooked carrots, some roasted beets, or whatever, and serve with horseradish during the Seder.
Next Year in XXX, Bubeleh!
